Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
3pm strippers are depressing
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?