Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love