I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I need a hoe opinion