Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
