god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize