so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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