I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize