my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
