I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
