Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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