In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
