so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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