Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
