Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just want nice things and good sex
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
