That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
