We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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