im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize