and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
