I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.