i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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