We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
