well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
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I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.