Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.