i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
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I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
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he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!