How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent