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• (818): View more from California

  This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.

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• (925): View more from California

  While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.

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  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (810): View more from Michigan

  There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?

  (224): View more from Illinois

  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense

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• (807): View more from Ontario

  I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.

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