you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
