You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
