3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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