Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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