Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize