i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
