i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
