You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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