the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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