i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
