Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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