i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
