Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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