Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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