Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
