God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
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Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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