No stitches, just platelets and will power
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
