Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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