That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize