i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
