i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Randomize
