the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
