Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(

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  (267): Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:( http://tfl.nu/yddk
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.

  (305): View more from Florida

  Did you save them?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Who?

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  (404): Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning. (305): Did you save them? (404): Who? http://tfl.nu/1xdf
  Replies (28) Good night (5395) Bad night (1057)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day

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  (360): Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day http://tfl.nu/ig75
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.

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  (843): I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out. http://tfl.nu/mzmx
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today

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  (850): I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today http://tfl.nu/9m95
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.

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  (615): good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car. http://tfl.nu/bhcd
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  (626): View more from California

  All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.

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  (626): All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me. http://tfl.nu/0mc8
  Replies (19) Good night (4371) Bad night (994)
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  (914): View more from New York

  say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.

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  (914): say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint. http://tfl.nu/783h
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?

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  (405): Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird? http://tfl.nu/uuel
  Replies (10) Good night (2269) Bad night (718) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.

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  (561): We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out. http://tfl.nu/9buc
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though

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  (614): Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though http://tfl.nu/2fqg
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  (365): View more from

  James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.

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  (365): James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations. http://tfl.nu/tgs7
  Replies (9) Good night (1879) Bad night (497) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.

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  (218): We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand. http://tfl.nu/ljk5
  Replies (2) Good night (387) Bad night (450)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.

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  (603): Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me. http://tfl.nu/xrxi
  Replies (2) Good night (246) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.

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  (407): I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again. http://tfl.nu/tkx0
  Replies (2) Good night (183) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt

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