Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?