Texts From Last Night

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  (325): View more from Texas

  Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?

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  (325): Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis? http://tfl.nu/utwq
  Replies (152) Good night (763) Bad night (5456)
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  (516): View more from New York

  she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".

  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.

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  (516): she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag". (917): I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag. http://tfl.nu/7xie
  Replies (57) Good night (1336) Bad night (11404)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.

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  (580): I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch. http://tfl.nu/axjt
  Replies (31) Good night (6105) Bad night (976)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.

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  (603): Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila. http://tfl.nu/02xa
  Replies (24) Good night (6872) Bad night (1017)
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  (718): View more from New York

  at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.

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  (718): at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue. http://tfl.nu/efry
  Replies (15) Good night (6357) Bad night (1039)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.

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  (803): He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face. http://tfl.nu/7qv4
  Replies (21) Good night (1304) Bad night (5362)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.

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  (703): He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days. http://tfl.nu/iucs
  Replies (16) Good night (1685) Bad night (5689)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay

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  (859): Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay http://tfl.nu/mr5s
  Replies (5) Good night (572) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.

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  (469): HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK. http://tfl.nu/uhfo
  Replies (5) Good night (1418) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team

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  (703): We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team http://tfl.nu/0wyh
  Replies (2) Good night (972) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry

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  (503): I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry http://tfl.nu/xdrm
  Replies (2) Good night (307) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.

  (1-626): View more from California

  I see you met someone special

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  (626): Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection. (1-626): I see you met someone special http://tfl.nu/ncbz
  Replies (2) Good night (580) Bad night (200)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.

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  (773): my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar. http://tfl.nu/vpt2
  Replies (3) Good night (1167) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?

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  (908): He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling? http://tfl.nu/dpwn
  Replies (9) Good night (435) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus

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  (727): I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus http://tfl.nu/mpo6
  Replies (2) Good night (747) Bad night (147)

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