im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night