it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
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Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
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Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.