but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
