Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  Shut up. I did not.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I really wish I was making that up.

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  (918): You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras. (1-918): Shut up. I did not. (918): I really wish I was making that up. http://tfl.nu/wbcz
  Replies (35) Good night (6795) Bad night (835)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM

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  (613): she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent (613): I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM http://tfl.nu/2tls
  Replies (24) Good night (1016) Bad night (5366)
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  (831): View more from California

  I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.

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  (831): I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer. http://tfl.nu/gejp
  Replies (18) Good night (2794) Bad night (2081)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"

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  (570): How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks" http://tfl.nu/r0yt
  Replies (26) Good night (6529) Bad night (1001)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.

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  (215): Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing. http://tfl.nu/dzgt
  Replies (48) Good night (12877) Bad night (1729)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.

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  (610): She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling. http://tfl.nu/koe0
  Replies (8) Good night (921) Bad night (2420)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions

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  (609): Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles? (1-609): In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions http://tfl.nu/67pw
  Replies (2) Good night (1886) Bad night (578)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.

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  (907): This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/qu4g
  Replies (3) Good night (3524) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.

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  (908): He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS. http://tfl.nu/gbcc
  Replies (16) Good night (1803) Bad night (714)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.

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  (401): My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar. http://tfl.nu/tapz
  Replies (4) Good night (635) Bad night (2188)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.

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  (315): Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back. http://tfl.nu/li4v
  Replies (2) Good night (1001) Bad night (469)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I believe they call that patchouli.

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  (631): Whatever she smells like compost and feathers. (508): I believe they call that patchouli. http://tfl.nu/ql5w
  Replies (7) Good night (677) Bad night (800)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.

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  (519): I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again. http://tfl.nu/4ugu
  Replies (1) Good night (480) Bad night (556)
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  (845): View more from New York

  You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.

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  (845): You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts. http://tfl.nu/ido5
  Replies (3) Good night (586) Bad night (319)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.

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  (+61): Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome. http://tfl.nu/0ajk
  Replies (5) Good night (1317) Bad night (363)

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