when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
