That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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