So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Do vagina's smell?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
