no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize