I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
