my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
