what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
it hurts more in the daytime
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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