I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
In America we eat man semen.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize