I bet he comes in French.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
