I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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