I must be too annoying 4 u.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
