She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
