I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
